Why is the family climate so important for the well-being of individuals? What advice can we follow to improve the serenity of our family?
In this article, we try to answer these questions by analyzing what can be considered five core family values.
Identifying and knowing them can help you work in everyday life to improve the level of serenity and well-being in the relationship with your loved ones.
Before analyzing the five values of the family, however, we must ask ourselves some even more important questions: what is the family? What are the characteristics that distinguish it from a group of people? How has it evolved over time?
Characteristics and functions of the family
The family can be defined as the place where we are born: not only a physical space where we feel safe, but also the place of affection, of deep relationships, our own secure base.
The family is an integral part of our identity and characterizes us throughout our life, while social affiliations (school, work, group of friends, associations, etc.) are limited in time and serve to “complete” our personality.
The family has evolved significantly over time : many centuries ago there was more attention to basic needs, rules and roles.
In recent decades, the family has become a place where each member can potentially express and satisfy all kinds of needs.
The change that has taken place can be seen as the transition from an “institutional” view of the family to a “subject-centered” view.
If the family we live in manages to find a good harmony between individual and group , our well-being will be positively influenced.
To improve family serenity, we can identify two macro-areas on which to try to invest our energies: the area of values and the area of good habits.
In this article we will focus on the first, that is, on the values that can strengthen unity and family feeling.
The 5 family values
Values are principles that allow us to moderate our behavior in order to live in harmony with others.
If there were no values at the basis of our behavior, the action of the individual would almost always end up being in contrast with the actions of others.
Does what has been said imply that values are lacking in quarrelsome families?
It is not said: often, in fact, the values are present in the group but the individuals forget to follow them.
When we talk about developing values in the family, we are referring above all to recalling them and putting them into practice.
Let’s now see the 5 fundamental values, present in every family, which promote the serenity and well-being of the whole nucleus .
The first thing that binds us in the family is the feeling of love. Affectionate gestures are a form of communication of the underlying bond.
Through shared warmth, we identify with the group to which we belong.
This feeling is something that is felt, but which must also be cultivated.
For this reason, it is important to maintain a close, loving and open relationship within the family ( in this article we have identified 5 simple steps to improve a romantic relationship).
Far from clichés, obedience does not mean submitting someone to someone else’s orders.
Rather, we speak of a respect for family authority, of making the little ones understand the reason for each rule and making sure that obedience is permeated by a sense of trust.
Alongside this, we need to give an example, which is the most effective way to make people understand the importance of rules ( even in the face of children who seem to behave in a tyrannical manner).
An important part of living in a group is accepting who we are and also who others are.
To succeed in this, we must educate to tolerance. To be tolerant is to understand the existence of the other, of his reality, but above all of his defects.
Appreciating a person for his strengths is quite easy, but it is even easier to be relentless on his flaws; seeing the merits of a person despite his faults is, on the other hand, very difficult.
We therefore learn to develop the ability to accept ourselves for who we are and to improve ourselves in what can make us live better.
Tolerance is good insofar as it is practiced on an equal basis among family members.
If some are tolerant and others are not, it will open the way to selfishness and, in the end, there will be a fight.
To avoid this, the solution is to have respect. Respect is based on the idea that we all have a limit.
This limit must never be crossed by others.
Therefore, it is correct to say that ” everyone is what he is “, provided however that the action of one does not harm the others.
Being respectful also implies being responsible to others.
When we talk about responsibility, we mean everything we need to do for ourselves and our loved ones.
Being responsible means taking on a task that benefits the whole family.
To be responsible, more generally, is to think that there is a world that revolves around us, to which we must not only ask but also give.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help
Being a peaceful family today involves more work than in the past : attention must be paid to both the “structure” of the family (primary roles and objectives) and the uniqueness of its members (subjective needs).
All this, often having to find the right balance with the individual working sphere.
Through our listening line, the Wellness Toll-Free Number and the Stimulus Care Services online platform , we often find ourselves providing our support to:
- parents in difficulty in managing the relationship with their children;
- situations of communication difficulties between partners that can lead to conflicts;
- families where people are at odds with each other due to a lack of tolerance and understanding.
Recognizing what the fundamental values of the family are and taking note of the presence of difficulties is the first step towards a path of improvement that a listening professional can help to solve.
Turning to the psychologist is not a sign of weakness, quite the contrary. It is an indicator of the desire to keep together one of the most precious assets we have available in our life: the family.